Lessons from Gandhi

 

I have had the pleasure of getting to learn from a man named Ricardo Esquivia. Ricardo is often referred to by his staff and associates as the Gandhi of Colombia.

After being able to spend a month with him I definitely can confirm that lofty statement, in fact they even look alike.

In stature Ricardo is short and thin. He has big bushy eyebrows and a baldhead. He is an Afro-Colombian man with a calm presence, a gentle smile, and heavy eyes. Eyes which, hold a lot of emotion and sadness behind them.

In his life he has experienced a lot of pain and abuse. However, he has used that emotion not to become bitter and angry because of all that he has seen but instead it seems to fuel his vision and optimism for a better future. He has experienced a transformation and the negative experiences of his life have been restored so that instead of becoming jaded toward the world, he now has a source for his abundant compassion.  He is not a man of many words, however when he does speak it is very eloquent and meaningful.

I asked some of his staff what they have learned during their time working with Ricardo.  The first response is usually humility. Ricardo is a lawyer and a well-known international peace leader. In his office is a picture of him with the Dalai Lama. One staff member told me that Ricardo has many opportunities to become wealthy and famous, but he lives a simple life and doesn’t take the glory for all of the impactful work that he has done.

Ricardo started an organization called “Sembrandopaz” (Planting peace).

This organization works with seven local communities that have been displaced or extremely affected by violence.  They work to help these communities become internally sustainable again without the help of outside organizations, including their own. They work to bring peaceful reconciliation and restoration in these communities on both an ideological, social, legal, and physical level.

I have been sent to study their model of community development in order to learn and implement a similar approach. There is a lot to be learned and this is certainly a good organization to learn from. Here are some highlights to take away:

Approach

Recently there has been a lot of controversy over the Kony 2012 video. As more and more information comes out there are many critiques of Invisible Children claiming the campaign oversimplifies complex issues and does not reflect actual realities in Uganda, amongst many other things. There is no doubt it does a good job of promoting awareness and giving recipients a tangible way to respond. However at the end of the day we ask who is this really for?  I am not writing to bash this organization, I do not know all the details and I am sure there are valid arguments from both sides. I simply use this as an example to get us thinking about approach. 

I can tell you one thing for certain this is certainly no new phenomenon. It is a common occurrence that the good intentions of an organization or individual in the end only seem to be serving their own agenda.

Approach is important to think about in order to avoid resulting in good works that are only self-serving. Reason/Motivation are also important questions, but very in depth and probably best saved for another post.

Here is some insight from Ricardo that will help us think about approach.  When talking about the process of community development he uses the metaphor of building a fire.

            He explains; if you want to heat something quickly you could light a gas stove and in a short time achieve the end goal of heating your food, it would be impressive, quick and it would meet an immediate need. However, once the gas is turned off or runs out, the fire will cease to exist. The gas fire is what happens when an NGO comes in and tries to run community programs. They will look good and meet needs but it will require constant outside resources in order to function. In order for something to be sustainable it has to provide its own fuel. Ricardo says at “Sembrandopaz” they try to start a fire by hand. They gather surrounding tinder and kindle then go through the long tedious process of rubbing sticks together to make a flame. It is a slow and difficult process however they have created something that can continue to be fed and will have inspiration to keep it going because it was created from within. Those involved know how difficult it was to get to that point and will take pride in maintaining what they have created.  This is the work of Sembrandopaz to assist a community to build their own fire.

Many Organizations have great ideals and talk all day about empowering people, but often their actions seem more like they are trying to give more power to themselves. I had an amazing opportunity to see how Sembrandopaz really lives out their ideals.

Mambujan is a community that has been displaced due to paramilitary control. This is a community in which Sembrandopaz has been the main support since the people were squatting on private land without any representation. This community is the first to be recognized under a new law, which promises reparations to communities displaced by violence.  Mambujan has received national recognition due to the historical significance that this new law promises. The community hosted a huge event in which the President of Colombian was scheduled to attend, in order to acknowledge the community. The event was a big deal with many organizations, a lot of media and many important Government officials (the president did not make it). With all of this hype, many tried to jump aboard the bandwagon. For example one organization donated posters and t-shirts for the event, of course they were sure to post their logo all over them and write how the community has been helped with their support. They might as well have been a corporate sponsor. However Sembrandopaz the only organization that has been involved in the process since the beginning, which initiated and equipped the community to start the legal process, did not jump in to receive their credit. No instead they did exactly what they set out to do, they let the community stand tall and represent themselves. They stood in the background as the faithful supporter and encourager not seeking the spotlight for their own gain. Instead they looked on, proud of a once striated and hostile community, which is now working together, united for their own cause using their own abilities.  This is real community development.

I can see how Ricardo’s personal character translates into the action of his organization. He truly is a genuine demonstration of meekness. Do not misunderstand me here because, many people equate the word meek to weak. However, that assumption could not be more false. Weak means a lack of power, strength and force. Being meek is a control and restraint of much power. Think of a wild mustang, uncontrolled and wild it does whatever it wants using its energy in sporadic sprints and fits. However once it is tamed it harnesses and controls that power. That strength and power is still there and can be flexed if needed but it is not done simply to show off, it can now use that power for purpose and intention.

A great leader does not use his knowledge and resources to boast to others what they have made for themselves, instead, they use that potential to help others do the same. My best professors were not necessarily the ones who were the most informed and could recite to me all that I needed to learn. No, my best professors were the ones who showed me how to think for myself.

I think if all of us took a lesson from Ricardo’s approach and humble ourselves to help others see their potential, we would see radical change. This is something we are all capable of...

 Go be a positive change!

-Chad

Rural adventures

Have you ever been at an event and found yourself thinking, “well this has been fun, but lets start wrapping it up.”

That is exactly the sentiment I had at around 11:00 p.m. last Sunday night as I sat in this “special” church service I was invited to in a rural indigenous village. The service started around 7:30pm and after many eventful scenes, including me being invited to give an impromptu sermon, I had about hit my limit. Little did I know the service would continue until 1:00 A.M.

I have been in all sorts of interesting situations such as this over the last month as I have travelled to many rural communities.  I must say; I love it, each day brings a new adventure and I never quite know what to expect next.

I have been sleeping in a lot of hammocks, bathing in rivers and taking some of the jankiest forms of transportation you have ever seen. I have heard some amazing stories, learned a lot, and been given plenty of opportunities to test my patience.

 I have about five different blogs started, none of them finished. Every time I write I go off on tangents and it comes out a lot longer than I planned. I will try to separate subjects or tie them all together. In the words of awolnation “I blame it on my A.D.D.”

Until then, I thought I would send out a quick update,

Paz Y Amor,

-Chad

Assimilating

            We often romanticize travel. Most often we will get away for a weeklong holiday or a weekend trip and will feel inspired and refreshed. A quick change of environment is just the cure to take us out of our normal routine. 

            Trying to live in another culture however, more often than not comes with a wealth of emotions. A permanent change from "normal" is a bit of an adjustment. In all of my travel experiences it has always been a roller coaster of highs and lows with a lot of misunderstanding, uncomfortable situations and frustrations along the way.  It is not easy to change environment, language, and culture all at once.

            When this happens it can become easy to get frustrated in the little things.  My short list right now would include the heat, the chicken head in my soup at lunch, cold showers, and mosquito’s. But honestly these things aren’t what really bother me they are minor adjustments.

            The feeling of being misunderstood, receiving blank stares after just constructing a sentence I swore used correct grammar. The inability to fully express oneself, this is a lonely place to be.

So why you ask with all of these difficulties do I continue to travel???

Because it is worth it. More important than my own personal comfort I am concerned with my personal growth. I like to be challenged. I like to overcome obstacles. I like to do things I originally thought I could not. Yes assimilating is hard, especially when you are on your own. But having been through this before, now I know that it is part of the process and in the end I would not trade the lessons I learn along the journey for any fading comfort.

So as there are frustrations and differences to get used to, if I focus on the positive changes it makes the process a lot more fun.

Positives such as the things that I enjoy: for example how I can hop on the back of any passing motorcycle and get anywhere in town for around 50 cents.  Or whenever I am riding a bus somewhere and start to become hungry or thirsty, no doubt in about five minutes someone will come aboard selling drinks and snacks.

Or the things that make me laugh:  like today as I walked down a dirt road, which contained houses barely standing with pieced together walls, I was glad to see that the essentials were still met. When I say essentials I mean a big ass stereo. And how generous those people are, because instead of pointing the speakers inside to listen to their own music they point them outward for the rest of the community to enjoy. Gotta love it, but that doesn’t beat yesterday when I saw a women on the back of a motorcycle holding an entire washer and dryer. 

There are also the “wow, that just happened” moments to be thankful for.  Like the times when I have agreed to tag along with someone and suddenly found myself at a Colombian wedding or at the deathbed of their dying uncle (true stories).

 I can simply be thankful to be alive another day. Which Friday, as I sat on the backseat of a motorcycle speeding down a dirt road I seriously doubted that would be a reality. For some reason my driver thought that we were in a race against all the other bikes and he needed to come out victorious. We did.

            Yes, when assimilating you have to appreciate the changes and be willing to go with the flow. But more importantly you must use the difficulties as learning experiences. I am learning more and more that although there are differences between us we as humans have a lot more in common than we think. I am also becoming aware of the ways in which we try to make ourselves seem very different.

            We do many things to distance ourselves from our fellow man. Sometimes it is because of competition, we look to be better and therefore see the other as an opponent. We define our life by what we can accomplish and we need to continue meeting those standards to feel good about ourselves. When we live like this our identity is in what we can give, produce, and achieve. That sounds exhausting. It is not wrong to want to produce good outcomes but when they become the source of our self-esteem, it is destructive. Henri Nouwen writes “ In short, we are worthwhile because we have successes. And the more we allow our accomplishments-the result of our actions-to become the criteria of our self-esteem, the more we are going to walk on our mental and spiritual toes, never sure if we will be able to live up to the expectations which we have created by our last successes. In many people’s lives, there is a nearly diabolic chain in which their anxieties grow according to their successes. This dark power has driven many of the greatest artists into self-destruction.”  It was not until I had felt like I had completely failed until I understood this and realized where my identity and fulfillment was coming from.

He goes on to say “When we cling to the results of our actions as our only way of self identification, then we become possessive and defensive and tend to look at our fellow human beings more as enemies to be kept at a distance than as friends with whom we share the gifts of life.” (Out of Solitude)

            Sometimes we distance ourselves from others because of our perceived sanctity. I know that this has been a particular vice for me. I have thought of myself as a good person who makes good choices, thinking that my good actions save me. This is the biggest most detrimental lie we can tell ourselves. The moment we start believing we are good or better than someone else because of our actions or choices is the moment we become elitist and begin to elevate ourselves and segregate from others. That is not radical love that is piety. Real love is realizing that my sin is equally as bad as any other persons. If I claim to follow a guy who would hang out with thieves and prostitutes and I consider myself to accomplished or moral to befriend someone, then somewhere along the way I have missed the message.

            Therefore I am thankful for the difficulty that comes with assimilation because it helps me not to become too confident in my own accomplishments. As I struggle to speak the language and fit in, I am kept humble and enlightened to not consider myself as better or more important than any other.

Therefore as you encounter life’s hardship I encourage you to learn through the difficulty, have and adventurous spirit, laugh at yourself, focus on the positive and in the end it will be “vale la pena”

In the words of the band Rebelution: “you can gain the world for the price of your soul but I hope you take the road less traveled and I hope you find the courage to grow.”

 -Chad

First Impressions

Oh, Colombia…what a place. The past week and a half has really flown by. I have met some incredible people who are doing some very inspiring work. There is a lot I could talk about but I will start by giving you a glimpse of the two cities I have been in.

            At first entering the city center of Medellín, I experienced a bit of sensory overload. It is a bustling city, with hordes of people all passing in different directions. As you walk through the streets you see an array of bright colors in the advertisements up above. People pass by in every direction. Motorcycles skillfully weave in and out of traffic, while taxis and buses honk and yell. Your eyes constantly shift between the people passing around on every side and the upcoming obstacles and potholes. Vendors boldly broadcast their goods “arepa  arepa  arepa” and the smell of fried food fills the air.  It is a city full of life and it is a city with an incredible history.

            Throughout the 80’s and 90’s, Medellín was considered one of the most dangerous cities in the world for its size. It was the home of the drug lord Pablo Escobar and the Medellín Cartel, who virtually controlled the city during that time. Since his demise in the mid-1990's, the cartel was disbanded and the city rebounded tremendously. In 1991 there were 6500 murders in the city, by 2009 the murder rate decreased to 2900.

            For those interested in development and social change, Medellin is a textbook example. The local government has implemented many initiatives aimed toward the most poverty stricken and vulnerable parts of their city. Thanks to those efforts there has been a dramatic restoration within a short time. There are banners throughout the city that say, “Tú eres parte de la transformación” (you are part of the transformation). This message gives the power to each person, reminding them of their ability to make change possible in their city. This allows everyone to claim ownership and pride in their environment.

            One of the most impressive initiatives is a metro system with cable cars that extend to the outer impoverished communities. These areas bred violence and gang control due to their isolation and vulnerability. Now there is more regulation, accountability and employment options for the people of these communities. The cable provides cheap and quick transportation to the commerce centers of the city. The major changes have created a new reality for many people because city officials have chosen to invest resources into the most impoverished and violent areas of their city. However, the city is still one of major contrast. In a different section you have “el poblado” where the Colombian elite live. There are luxury shopping malls, fine dining and booming nightlife. Although nice, this area also looses the identity of the greater city as this is the only district where you will find foreign influence such as McDonalds, Quicksilver, or Armani, which can all be found here.  This is the reality of the double-edged sword of globalization. However, this section fits into a piece of the diverse puzzle, which this city portrays.

            Not only has Medellín seen many changes, but the country as a whole has experienced internal conflict since the colonial days. Colombians say that every single person in the country has been affected by the “civil war” throughout the last few decades between guerillas and paramilitary. It is an unknown war, which has killed tens of thousands, and displaced millions. It is a war that still continues today.

            A quick plane ride away I am now in the coastal city of Cartagena on the northern Caribbean side of Colombia. This is practically a different country in itself, with a unique less comprehensible style of Spanish (sigh).  This city also has a rich history. Nicknamed “Gateway to the Americas” Cartagena served as the most influential port during colonial days. Most of the gold that left Latin America during colonization came out of Cartagena. It was also a trade center for slaves and natural resources.

            The city has a unique blend of Spanish and Carribean flare. The city center is built in beautiful colonial Spanish architecture, with cobblestone streets, vibrant colors, great restaurants and outdoor plazas. The city is a fortress protected by a sea wall armed with canons on top. It is a beautiful relaxing place. In fact, as I write this I am overlooking the ocean from my hotel balcony. Cartagena is now a developed tourist destination. Come on a weekend and you will see groups of Europeans flood the city as a cruise ship pulls into port. However if you talk to any local cartagenero you will quickly see that this is a city with two faces. The city center and boca grande (think Miami in the 80’s) make up only about 20% of the population. The outskirts are a much different reality. Just like in its colonial era Cartagena still serves as a slave port. Some statistics place Cartagena as the second biggest destination in the world for human trafficking after Bangkok. Prostitutes walk the streets and hustlers offer us “Whatever we need”. This is a daily reality.

 

            In the midst of all of this I have seen a lot of hope. I have had the privilege of meeting some incredible people who are really making a change. I have been traveling with various co- workers but tomorrow they will return home and I will leave for a town called Sincelejo. I am sad to part with my crew, especially since I now have to fully immerse in Spanish, which is a slow frustrating process. However it will force me to learn. I am also excited because I have an incredible opportunity to learn from a man who was described to me as the Gandhi of Colombia. He works to restore peace in communities that have been displaced by guerilla control. I will stay there for a month to study and document his methodology in community development.  Not a bad assignment. Stay tuned.

-Chad

life simplified

That's it. After much anticipation I am finally off to Medellín!!

The What? & Why?

            This last week in Florida has been both inspiring and encouraging. I am so happy to be working with my good friend Ryan Secrest (no, not that one). Ryan was a fellow Global Studies major in college and a far superior student than I, so I am honored to work with and learn from him.  It has been refreshing and exciting to see someone who is asking the right questions and approaching his work thoughtfully and intentionally. Ryan has been asking me good questions and challenging me to further explore my actions and beliefs.

            I have been hesitant to write about the reasoning for my upcoming trip to Colombia. I am hesitant because I want to be clear about the purpose and intention of my trip. I wish to explain myself before you imagine me as just another young idealist trying to save the world. Because in actuality I am just a foreigner awkwardly trying to assimilate to a new surrounding, bringing with me my cultural bias and ethnocentric views.

I realize my limitations. I am a white guy who speaks mediocre Spanish, moving by myself to a Latin-American country. Do I really expect to be helpful? What do I have to offer Colombians that nationals cannot? Do their communities really need changing? Or do I just perceive that they do?

            I believe these are important and necessary questions to be asking for anyone attempting to work cross culturally. How do we justify such actions? Are we really creating positive outcomes or simply going with good intentions hoping it works out?

These are questions, which I have pondered before. They are difficult to answer, but here are a couple of lessons and postures I wish to encompass as I attempt to address such important questions.

1) I am going as a learner.

            I believe that cross-cultural learning can be enlightening. As we see life lived in a different context, we begin to re-think what is important and valuable. Suddenly things, which once seemed so important, can begin to appear trivial. I’m sure I will comment on this more as I travel. However, I want to make sure that my actions and intent do not oppress my views and agenda upon a place where I am a guest. Therefore as I enter a new place I am prepared to receive so much as I encounter and soak in the environment around me. However I can also share and give back as there are lessons and values that can be gained from my perspective and culture. That is the beauty of diversity we can experience life from a different perspective. I no doubt will find frustrations and appreciation of both my host country and my native one as I gain a new perspective. I must remember that both can learn from the other.

2) Partnership and empowerment

            The program I am working with is called cultivate. Cultivate is essentially community research and program design. We research a community to ask what their needs are; we connect with local partners and influencers to design programs to address these issues.  This research and design equips leaders to work toward effectual and lasting change in a community. In other words I am not really doing work in the community but instead giving tools and resources to locals who are already making positive change. Cultivate wishes to partner with churches and leaders to use these tools to help them be more effective.

3) I come with a message of Hope

            This next part is the most important to me however; it is also a subject that I approach with fear and contemplation. Fear because as I use words such as Gospel, God, Christian, or even church I know those words will conjure up 100 different connotations and implications to those who may be reading. I know this because in my own life those words have had 100 different implications and meanings… If however, you are still reading I want to tell you what the Gospel means to me.

            I say a message of hope because I believe that is what it is, a message of hope to the hopeless, freedom to the enslaved, restoration of that which is corrupted.  Holistic transformation, i.e. right relationship between people, God, and environment this is the end goal.

            The power of that message lies in the gospel, the good news of Jesus. The news that his grace and acceptance is for all people, that he loves everyone with no exceptions. As I seek to understand what that means and the freedom that comes with that message I daily struggle to believe its truth and power.

            Throughout my journey I have many times been disenchanted with Christianity, the church and how that looks in reality. It has seemed very imposing, unloving and imperialistic. It is hard to understand in context of world religions and culture. I have struggled with the thought of- “do I only believe this because it is what I have grown up with?” However, as I have taken small leaps of faith to believe the crazy claims of the gospel like “If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me." (Matthew 10:38, The message translation). As I continue to further believe and accept such claims I further understand its truth and relevance. It is not about following rules or going through certain motions it is simply accepting and engaging a relationship, which God already wants with us. Nothing more.

            I think I will forever have issues with the actions and image of the Church. That is because it consists of people, who like me live far from that encompassing message of hope and love. I hope that the work I will be a part of can help to redeem that image.

            As I doubt and struggle to understand the message of Jesus, I get tiny glimpses of what this Gospel message looks like. As I seek to understand it I believe I am developing a deeper and more encompassing glimpse of Love and how that looks. I say glimpse because I am screwed up there are so many things that inhibit and prevent me from fully living in that freedom. But those glimpses give me a vision of Gods picture for humanity and that is something that I want to be a part of.

             Therefore as I go I believe that my minimal actions are a part of something bigger. I hope to empower people to better bring about the vision of a restored community, which the gospel professes. “The goal is restoration-a wholeness that is envisioned when the Bible describes peace. God’s vision for a restored community that knows NO LIMITS to love, to beauty, to peace, to wholeness, to justice, to prosperity and to joy. The chief task of the church is to seek restoration of its community through the preaching of the Gospel in both word and deed.” (cultivate pamphlet)

Word.

 I feel privileged to have the opportunity to travel, which is something that I love. I wish to treat this opportunity with thoughtful intention and purpose, while not taking myself too seriously.

If you are a praying person please join me on this endeavor.

Muchas Gracias,

-Chad

Lessons from Taka

Hi my friends and family,

            In case you haven’t heard a couple of days from now I will be moving to Fort Lauderdale, Florida in order to work for an organization called Onehope.  I will be there a couple weeks until they send me to Colombia to stay until September!!!  I will provide more details about where? What? And why? As it comes and as I find out more

            However, as I head out on a new adventure unsure of what may be ahead, I want to impart a little wisdom, lessons which I am trying to embrace in my own life. Lessons, I have learned from observing my good friend Taka.

You see Taka works a job that causes him to be constantly traveling. He lives out of a suitcase, never in one place for more than a month. He lives truly nomadic, without any consistent home base.  This no doubt can be draining; everyone needs some consistency in life and wants to be able to invest into community. How does he do it? This is a thought I have pondered as I prepare to embark into an unknown place by myself once again.

What I realized is that because of the inconsistency of the future that Taka lives with, he has learned to live with intentionality toward life like no one I have ever seen. When Taka is studying he studies hard, when doing a project for work he is fully committed to it.  When spending time with friends he makes the most of it he goes deep, laughs hard and embraces the moment. If you are hanging out with Taka you are going to have a good time. Perhaps I can best illustrate with a story:

 During Christmas break Taka and I were convinced to go to a Zumba class with our friend Tony.  I will attempt to give you a visual of what a Zumba class normally looks like. First, picture a room full of middle-aged women in exercise clothing going through a routine of dance moves which include a lot hip gyration, shoulder shimmying and feminine screams of excitement. Next, imagine a studio, which in the back contains a big glass wall looking out to the gym, so that a large audience is in constant observation. To top it off the front of the class has a big mirror to remind you of how ridiculous you look…  Let’s just say it is not exactly a scene where I would comfortably fit in. 

            Now this is no problem for someone such as Tony who can move his hips in a way that makes Latina and African women Jealous. He has so much natural rhythm that the instructor told everyone to “look at Tony” as he inserted body rolls and complicated steps to the routine to spice it up a little. By the end Tony was the star, Taka seemed to get along fine, and my goofy white self struggled to keep up with the moves.

            So why do I share this story of shame? Well despite feeling a little foolish and no doubt looking ridiculous, I also had a blast! Actually, we went back the next week and did it again. I share this because that is how I want to live life not afraid to try new things, willing to risk embarrassment and comfort in order to experience life a little more fully. Zumba class is only a small example, but how often do we miss out on great opportunities and a more abundant life because we are too concerned with being comfortable. After all if we let fear and intimidation run our lives we will never do anything worthwhile.  Which brings me to a lesson, which Taka embraces well.

           

Lesson 1- Live it up

 The whole Carpe diem approach may seem familiar and a little cliché to many of us. I thought the same thing but, observing Taka I have gotten more insight into how this can look and how much more exciting life can be when you live this way.  Taka is notorious for saying this line “guys we have got to live it up- this is the last time__________.” There was always a reason to fill in the blank. The last time…this group of people will be together…we are in this place…. I will be wearing this shirt on a Tuesday night during a full moon. Some of them were a bit of a stretch. Although, whether the reason was valid or not, there was always a reason to make the most of our time. Our group of friends would often make fun of him for constantly being in this mode, but now looking back I realize Taka understood something I didn’t.  Taka was Intentional about seizing every aspect of life.

Normally when we hear carpe diem we think that means abandoning responsibility. On the contrary, Taka has showed me that it is not about doing whatever you want, but applying yourself fully and doing your best at the things you should be doing.  Both Taka and Tony have been living in countries other than their own since they were 18 and even before that. I think that the process of being a foreigner puts you into several situations where you are misunderstood. This can alienate us and cause us to question our identities. At this point we can either retreat and live in a comfortable bubble where we take no risks because we know our cultural differences will make us misunderstood further ostracizing ourselves. Or, we can rise above it and live vulnerably risking embarrassment whether we are understood or not. Taka and Tony have learned to do this and I have so much respect for them for doing so because they have learned to live free and embrace life in a way most other people do not.

Lesson 2- Be vulnerable.

Taka shares openly with people about his life, he asks good questions, he engages with all those he encounters.  This admittedly is a quality I do not naturally do. It is easy to bottle things up, and attempt to work everything out on one’s own. However that makes it easy to become isolated and never really connect with people like we were meant to. I believe that deep down each person desires to be known and understood.  Even those closest to us will never fully understand us because they don’t know our thoughts. That is all the more reason why being open and honest with the people you daily interact is so important.

Let me just clarify that when I say be vulnerable I don’t mean to be foolish or compromise your safety. I’m not talking about telling some stranger your address and ss#. However, do allow yourself to be known. I have lived in many different close community settings and I have learned that the most free and connected and understood you will feel is when you can be completely real and honest about what is happening with you. Share your struggles, joys, fears, and challenges. Those who really care will listen. Even if they don’t you can rest peacefully knowing that you have nothing to hide, after all the truth shall set you free.

I think we don’t often share our weaknesses because we are constantly seeking to prove ourselves through our accomplishments and successes. However if we define our worth through what we can do we will constantly be trying to one up ourselves and compare ourselves to others this will ultimately leave us empty and steal away from the security that comes when all is laid on the table. An author from a book I recently read explains this well.

“This corroding fear for the discovery of our weakness prevents community and creative sharing. When we have sold our identity to the judges of this world, we are bound to become restless, because of a growing need for affirmation and praise. Indeed we are tempted to become low-hearted because of a constant self-rejection. And we are in serious danger of becoming isolated, since friendship and love are impossible without mutual vulnerability.

            And so, when our actions have become more an expression of fear than of inner freedom, we become the prisoners or our self-created illusions.”

Heavy stuff. So as I embark on a new Journey I will try to incorporate these valuable lessons. Whether you find yourself in the midst of a sea of change or you have more consistency and balance in your life, I hope these lessons will help to bring more fullness and freedom to your life.

Much love,

-Chad