Lessons from Taka

Hi my friends and family,

            In case you haven’t heard a couple of days from now I will be moving to Fort Lauderdale, Florida in order to work for an organization called Onehope.  I will be there a couple weeks until they send me to Colombia to stay until September!!!  I will provide more details about where? What? And why? As it comes and as I find out more

            However, as I head out on a new adventure unsure of what may be ahead, I want to impart a little wisdom, lessons which I am trying to embrace in my own life. Lessons, I have learned from observing my good friend Taka.

You see Taka works a job that causes him to be constantly traveling. He lives out of a suitcase, never in one place for more than a month. He lives truly nomadic, without any consistent home base.  This no doubt can be draining; everyone needs some consistency in life and wants to be able to invest into community. How does he do it? This is a thought I have pondered as I prepare to embark into an unknown place by myself once again.

What I realized is that because of the inconsistency of the future that Taka lives with, he has learned to live with intentionality toward life like no one I have ever seen. When Taka is studying he studies hard, when doing a project for work he is fully committed to it.  When spending time with friends he makes the most of it he goes deep, laughs hard and embraces the moment. If you are hanging out with Taka you are going to have a good time. Perhaps I can best illustrate with a story:

 During Christmas break Taka and I were convinced to go to a Zumba class with our friend Tony.  I will attempt to give you a visual of what a Zumba class normally looks like. First, picture a room full of middle-aged women in exercise clothing going through a routine of dance moves which include a lot hip gyration, shoulder shimmying and feminine screams of excitement. Next, imagine a studio, which in the back contains a big glass wall looking out to the gym, so that a large audience is in constant observation. To top it off the front of the class has a big mirror to remind you of how ridiculous you look…  Let’s just say it is not exactly a scene where I would comfortably fit in. 

            Now this is no problem for someone such as Tony who can move his hips in a way that makes Latina and African women Jealous. He has so much natural rhythm that the instructor told everyone to “look at Tony” as he inserted body rolls and complicated steps to the routine to spice it up a little. By the end Tony was the star, Taka seemed to get along fine, and my goofy white self struggled to keep up with the moves.

            So why do I share this story of shame? Well despite feeling a little foolish and no doubt looking ridiculous, I also had a blast! Actually, we went back the next week and did it again. I share this because that is how I want to live life not afraid to try new things, willing to risk embarrassment and comfort in order to experience life a little more fully. Zumba class is only a small example, but how often do we miss out on great opportunities and a more abundant life because we are too concerned with being comfortable. After all if we let fear and intimidation run our lives we will never do anything worthwhile.  Which brings me to a lesson, which Taka embraces well.

           

Lesson 1- Live it up

 The whole Carpe diem approach may seem familiar and a little cliché to many of us. I thought the same thing but, observing Taka I have gotten more insight into how this can look and how much more exciting life can be when you live this way.  Taka is notorious for saying this line “guys we have got to live it up- this is the last time__________.” There was always a reason to fill in the blank. The last time…this group of people will be together…we are in this place…. I will be wearing this shirt on a Tuesday night during a full moon. Some of them were a bit of a stretch. Although, whether the reason was valid or not, there was always a reason to make the most of our time. Our group of friends would often make fun of him for constantly being in this mode, but now looking back I realize Taka understood something I didn’t.  Taka was Intentional about seizing every aspect of life.

Normally when we hear carpe diem we think that means abandoning responsibility. On the contrary, Taka has showed me that it is not about doing whatever you want, but applying yourself fully and doing your best at the things you should be doing.  Both Taka and Tony have been living in countries other than their own since they were 18 and even before that. I think that the process of being a foreigner puts you into several situations where you are misunderstood. This can alienate us and cause us to question our identities. At this point we can either retreat and live in a comfortable bubble where we take no risks because we know our cultural differences will make us misunderstood further ostracizing ourselves. Or, we can rise above it and live vulnerably risking embarrassment whether we are understood or not. Taka and Tony have learned to do this and I have so much respect for them for doing so because they have learned to live free and embrace life in a way most other people do not.

Lesson 2- Be vulnerable.

Taka shares openly with people about his life, he asks good questions, he engages with all those he encounters.  This admittedly is a quality I do not naturally do. It is easy to bottle things up, and attempt to work everything out on one’s own. However that makes it easy to become isolated and never really connect with people like we were meant to. I believe that deep down each person desires to be known and understood.  Even those closest to us will never fully understand us because they don’t know our thoughts. That is all the more reason why being open and honest with the people you daily interact is so important.

Let me just clarify that when I say be vulnerable I don’t mean to be foolish or compromise your safety. I’m not talking about telling some stranger your address and ss#. However, do allow yourself to be known. I have lived in many different close community settings and I have learned that the most free and connected and understood you will feel is when you can be completely real and honest about what is happening with you. Share your struggles, joys, fears, and challenges. Those who really care will listen. Even if they don’t you can rest peacefully knowing that you have nothing to hide, after all the truth shall set you free.

I think we don’t often share our weaknesses because we are constantly seeking to prove ourselves through our accomplishments and successes. However if we define our worth through what we can do we will constantly be trying to one up ourselves and compare ourselves to others this will ultimately leave us empty and steal away from the security that comes when all is laid on the table. An author from a book I recently read explains this well.

“This corroding fear for the discovery of our weakness prevents community and creative sharing. When we have sold our identity to the judges of this world, we are bound to become restless, because of a growing need for affirmation and praise. Indeed we are tempted to become low-hearted because of a constant self-rejection. And we are in serious danger of becoming isolated, since friendship and love are impossible without mutual vulnerability.

            And so, when our actions have become more an expression of fear than of inner freedom, we become the prisoners or our self-created illusions.”

Heavy stuff. So as I embark on a new Journey I will try to incorporate these valuable lessons. Whether you find yourself in the midst of a sea of change or you have more consistency and balance in your life, I hope these lessons will help to bring more fullness and freedom to your life.

Much love,

-Chad